Has someone said something nasty to your face or behind your back? Do these words keep echoing inside of your head and you can't seem to shut them out. Have these words triggered a sadness within you or have made you feel angry towards the person who said these words? Is it all you can think about all day, has your day been ruined by these words?
In life we will meet people who hurt us
We will meet a lot of people in our life, these people will all have different personalities and experiences. Not everyone will end up being our friend as we will all have different values. We will meet people who will have different opinions to us and when we meet these people conflict may occur. Some people may be very willing to express their opinion or disagreement and they might do this in a nasty way.
Do you care too much about what others think.
A lot of us suffer we care too much about how others view us. We do not like to be judged and we are worried about our image in front of other people. In society we have to play by the rules otherwise we could get shunned by the wider community. This is human nature.
But when do we stop? Why do we care and get upset about what other people think to the point that it can ruin our day or week and hold us back from what we want to do.
The words which come out of other peoples mouths can hurt us, because we let them hurt us.
How do we stop others' from hurting us?
There are a few steps I take when I want to make sure I won't get hurt by others when they say nasty things to me. These may seem like basic tips but you might be pleasantly surprised by the results.
When you are insulted by someone and you disagree with the insult thrown your way, you will keep repeating it over and over in your head. This is normal as we have grown up to believe that we should deal with things head on. We end up trying to analyse it and reason with it which is damaging as we are constantly thinking about what was said and internalizing it. The thought is harming us.
These are just thoughts, nothing else. You can easily stop that thought and replace it with a more positive one, it could be a good memory or a future scenario you would like to experience. Even if your 'thought' is an outrageous scenario that you don't believe will ever happen, it is just a mere thought so why not think it rather than the negative one you are thinking which is ruining your day.
Don't let words or other people take control over your mind you have the power to change your thoughts and it is a very easy thing to do, so start doing it.
You can cheer yourself up with just a thought.
Stand up for yourself
Start taking control over your mind and your thoughts, catch the negative thought and change it to a positive one, even if you are in a bad mood and you want to think these negative thoughts, stop yourself and replace it with something happy even if it is a made up scenario.
Respond to their words
Did the words hurt you because you didn't respond or do anything about it. Did you make a stand?
Perhaps you didn't want to be confrontational and didn't think it was worth it. But by doing this you are repressing yourself and allowing others to get away with their insulting words. When you repress yourself you can feel a void and this is often where the hurt comes into play.
When you disagree with what someone says to you, you should retort and tell that person you disagree with them. This is you merely expressing yourself which will help clear up any negativity that is lurking inside of you. You will feel a lot better when you express yourself. Knowing that you did your best and show the other person that you disagree with them will help you move on.
Avoiding those people
This is a very simple tip, but try and avoid the people who intentionally hurt you. Do not hang out with the people who make you feel bad about yourself, even if they are the 'popular kids' in school. Why would you put yourself through anything that fundamentally doesn't make you happy.
- The way I view this is you have to take responsibility for your own life.
- How you react to a situation is your own personal choice.
- You can react badly or you can react positively.
- You have the choice to hang out with people who are positive.
- If someone is saying hurtful things to you, tell them to stop and walk away from them.
- Be friends with people who lift you up, not put you down.
Your reactions to situations are yours regardless of the circumstances
Getting hurt by other people's words is a very common issue amongst most people. Unless you have very thick skin or you are an extremely positive person it is very difficult to not let hurtful words affect you.
Hopefully, my tip of changing your thought into a positive one will make a difference in your life. Give it a go and see how it works for you. Do not let words hurt you ever again.